the mind is a muscle

Well, not literally.

I'm not a doctor (unless a juris doctor counts) but I've been thinking a bit about the intersection of the physiological and psychological aspects of existence lately. Over the past months I have taken strides to improve my physical conditioning and strength while simultaneously looking inward in order to develop healthy thought processes and coping mechanisms. Just as you don't progress from curling 5 pounds to 50 pounds overnight, or go from your couch to running a 5k in a day, you can't expect to go from disordered and unhealthy thinking to completely regulated and healthy thinking in little to no time. When we exercise our mind by actually forcing ourselves to perform the changed behaviors we are learning about, growth begins slowly and continues to build.

Something that I have struggled with is beating myself up when I catch myself in a pattern of unhealthy thinking or when I feel like I've failed to implement one of the minfulness practices that I have been working at. I was coming out of a yoga class last night when (perhaps due to the yoga-induced clarity) I realized how unfair I was being to myself. I wouldn't be upset with myself for not being able to lift a weight an amount of times that I knew was currently unattainable, or mad at myself for not being able to perform cardio at a pace I knew I couldn't reach. So why did I feel comfortable scolding myself for not achieving a psychological goal in an unrealistic timeframe?

I could attempt to pathologize the reasons why for days, but what really matters is the realization I had that the mind is a muscle. Like its physical counterparts, it requires regular exercise in order to mold into form. When we neglect the routine, much like when we decondition after a period of time away from physical activity, the mind atrophies and reverts back to ingrained ways of thinking. I was not putting forth the same daily effort that I was in my phsyical conditioning as I was in my mental conditioning. It's not enough to know what healthy thinking looks like, or know of coping mechanisms that you can use when dysregulated if you don't actually put either into practice. If you knew you should go on a walk, but for one reason or another did not do it, would you make any progress? Of course not.

By drawing an analogy to something that is intuitive, I was able to reframe how I viewed my approach to my healing journey. It allowed me to see with clarity that just like I carve out time for a hot yoga class, lift, or spin, I have to be intentional about carving out time each day to work on implementing the cognitive lessons I have been undertaking. More than that, I need to be kind to myself while I'm building towards my goal. We all have days where we're tired, stressed, sad, or otherwise not feeling our best that hinder us from putting forth our best effort. Rather than judge ourselves for not meeting our expectations, we should meet ourselves where we are and understand that there will be days where we aren't capable of giving 100%, and that's OK. When we observe and acknowledge rather than criticitize, we are then able to learn and grow from the experience rather than be tethered to the feeling of inadequacy.